General Details

Name: Amanda
Age: 31
Occupation: Systems Administrator
Marital Status: Separated - Pending Divorce
Zodiac Sign: Scorpio
Chineese Year: Tiger
Looking for: Friends, Long Term Relationship
NOT Looking for: Hookups, Flings, FWB
Religion: Agnostic. I'm tolerant of other religions, however I can not see myself with someone with strong religious beliefs .
Smoking: Yes, I smoke. I'd be willing to quit for the right person.
Pot: I don't, but I could care less if you do.
Other Drugs: Absolutely not, and I'm not interested if you do.
Drinking: Occasionally, but not really. I don't care if you drink.
Kids: None, but it doesn't bother me if you have children.
Trump: No, just no. I don't support Hillary either but seriously, if you're a Trump supporter, just forget I even exist...
Contact: Contact informtion can be found at the very bottom of the page, but please read this page before contacting me

Intro

Honestly I'm not sure why I'm even bothering. I already know that no one is interested. Appearances aside, I'm so depressed, negative and bitter due to how I've been treated in the past that no one can really stand me. I have zero self esteem and have already resigned to the sad reality that there's no one out there for me. And yet, here I am. A glutton for punishment and rejection I suppose. I'm about ready to just give up and resign to being a workaholic and a crazy cat lady, but I'm hoping someone can change my mind and give me some hope that I won't live and die alone.

If you honestly still think you might be interested then I suppose keep reading...

Who Am I?

I'm a bit of a computer geek, but I'm also not afraid to get outside and get dirty.

Intelligent, deep, emotional, dark soul, hopeless romantic, adventurous, not great with people unless I'm comfortable with them.

I suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder. This is a serious mental illness which affects my ability to interact with others, especially regarding relationships. 1/10 people with BPD ultimately end up killing themselves. I feel every emotion with an intensity that you couldn't begin to comprehend. I love hard, but that means I also get hurt very easily and very badly. I will lash out and push people away when I'm scared. I hurt myself. I need someone who understands that this is not drama or attention seeking behavior, but an illness that I struggle with.

I'm likely the most dark and depressing person you'll ever talk to, but I'm also the most kind and gentle. I'm honest about who I am and don't like to censor myself just to prevent other people from being uncomfortable. If you too embrace the darkness, maybe we could get along?

What Do I Like?

In General: Animals, Computers, Music, Nature, Companionship
Activities: Camping, Fishing, Canoeing, Hiking, Gaming, Snuggling, Movies, Long Drives
Music: Quite the variety. From Classical, to Pasty Cline and Simon & Garfunkel, to Classic Rock and 80's Hair Bands, to 90's Alt Rock and Pop, to a little Country here and there, to Rob Zombie and Marilyn Manson, to German metal. Most modern music I stay away from.
Movies: Horror, Disaster Movies (end of the world, weather disasters, zombie apocalypse, etc.), Documentries, Action and Action-Comedy, Thrillers. Although I don't typically tend to pick such movies, I do also get into comedies and romance, It's just not my go-to.

What Am I Looking for?

A good friend and/or a long-term committed relationship. Must be compassionate, patient and understanding. Intelligence is a big plus, but you don't need to be a rocket scientist or have a PhD. I am very affectionate and seek someone who appreciates that rather than seeing me as needy or clingy.

Me

Yes, many of them look much the same. There are a few that aren't quite so flattering however to try and keep your expectations realistic. This isnt me trying to show off, what I've included, especially towards the end, is not about trying to look good, but rather ensure you aren't disappointed when if/when we meet. I told you, I'm honest...